Saturday, June 28, 2008
when they drive me to the wall.. i was close to breakdowning down.. the helpless feeling.. no one is there to shield me from these evil people..
when the van brush pass my arm that morning and nearly knock me down.. the moment of life and death.. the frightened soul.. no one is there to comfort me..
when i requested to leave at 10pm on a working wednesday after staying till close to 1am for the previous days, i received a black face and a 'SK says MUST finish by today. told you top urgent liao. u dun understand ixit!' attitude. no one is there to back me up and say that i am not a machine and i deserve some rest.
the experiences these few weeks at work.. suddenly overnight i grew up..
i grew to be very defensive against everyone to protect myself.. only i can protect myself.
i grew to forget about leniency and negotiation. if i dun have it my way, i will lose my temper.
i grew to play along with the evil people. if you cant beat them, then just play along with them.
i grew to habour thoughts of making these evil people pay for what they did to me and eat their words back one day.
i grew to know that humans are sad people and i rather be a table or a chair in my next lifetime than a human.
i dun want to change.. but i am forced to change.. i dun like this new me.. but its too late..
please help pull me back.. before its really too late..
10:41 AM
